Recently there was a survey that revealed that about one out of ten Americans are ex-Catholics. Since I left the Church for about 15 years, I am aware of the reasons that I stopped attending the Catholic Church. I also have a brother and sister who no longer attend Church. Each of us went to Catholic school from grade school through high school. I do not want to speak for my brother and sister, however I can speak for why I stopped attending Church.
I think the impetus for me initially not attending Church was when I found my first job in high school. At first I worked around the job and was able to continue going to Mass. Slowly but surely my hours were changed to where I stopped attending Mass. I then lost my desire to keep going. I put the blame solely on myself but it made it easier. Then I went off to college and was exposed to many different view points. The moral relativism found in college had me questioning religion completely. I found it hard to say one was right and one was wrong. I don’t think I ever stopped believing in God, I just questioned the whole point of it all. My heart became hardened.
I believe that materialism started to play a role in it also. I began to put other things above God. Seeing my brother buying all sorts of things gave me a false sense of what I thought would make me happy. Having material goods to me was more important than going to Church and having a relationship with God. Secular society had its grasp on me. At this time I had anger towards religion. I actually occasionally watched a show about the errors of the Bible that was on public access cable. This was a way to prove to myself that religion was all a farce. I wrote down the passages to find the problems. I would show my parents, which only made them angry. My heart was truly hardened at this time. Thank God that all of that changed and I came back to Jesus and His Church. In the future, I hope to write in some detail how that eventually came about.
There was an article in Our Sunday Visitor by John Norton regarding some of the reasons Catholics have left the Church. Here are the reasons with my commentary.
1. Rejection of Catholic Morality: I believe this is a huge reason and I believe that secular society influences people with this. The moral relativism of society have become so great that it is no longer seen as a virtue to live a clean lifestyle. Hollywood, the music industry, video games and television all play a role in this attitude and it is one that influence me greatly in why I left.
2 Catholic Guilt: This one never effected me like it has some. I am sure this plays a part with some leaving. If you live a clean life you should not have guilt and scrupulosity is considered a sin.
3.Poor Catechesis: This has been a major problem in the past and I believe that it played a role in why I left. I remember in junior high, that a teacher said it was fine for adults to cuss and another saying reading playboy magazine was acceptable for adults. Others would basically teach universalism by saying that salvation can be found in all religions. This, I believe, led many to believe that the Catholic Church was just one of many ways to salvation. It was part of the moral relativism that has infected many. Is part of this the fault of having lay people teaching the children or even having non catholics teaching our children? Maybe. I do remember a Nun teaching some morally questionable teachings in religion class as well as doctrinally dissident teachings. She believed and basically taught that Nuns should be allowed to be priests. To be sure there were some wonderful teachers, but much of what they taught was ruined by the others.
4.Monarchal Pastoral Model: I am sure this has lead to some leaving. This did not have any part in my experience though. I am sure it is a problem in some areas.
5. Crisis in the Priesthood: The problems in the 50′s , 60′s and 70′s came to roost in the 80′s and 90′s.
6. Clergy Abuse and Betrayal: The problems of Clergy Abuse in the past have been tragic. I believe that it is more of a symptom of our society than celibate priests. The percentages of problems are less than society on a whole. I do believe that the Bishops made poor judgement in moving the offenders around. I am aware that they were given some poor advice from the psychological professionals of the time. Even so it is tragic that this occurred. I do pray for those affected by this and do hope they find it in their heart to return to the Church.
I pray that all those who have left the Church, for whatever reason, will someday return to Jesus’s Church through the Grace of God.
Karl Keating of Catholic Answers latest e-letter gives more insight to the current status of people leaving the Church.
See it here:
http://catholic.com/newsletters/kke_080311.asp
i left the church because…wait for it…there is no god!
Tim,
I am sad that you think that there is no God. The evidence for God is all over the place to see. I find it very difficult to believe in an accidental creation or accidental universe.
I was raised a catholic. When I came to the age of reason and started to learn the pros and cons of christianity and found there is not one piece of credible world evidence, archeological, forensic or 1 line written by the great writers of that time that jesus was suppose to have lived. If the story is about the greatest man that ever lived why is it that history has never recorded his name once. The only beliefs of jesus christ are through the 4 gospels. They all contradict themselves on many issues.
Religions are formed by myth making and recycling of old stories from previous religions. Read the stories of greek mythology from several hundred years before christianity. People were born of a virgin, born on december 25, had powers of god etc etc. Buddhism has the golden rule of six that are almost the same as the 10 commandments. These were formed hundreds of years before christianity.
Catholicism teaches our children that Mary was 12 or 13 years old having jesus. That goes against our moral beliefs. Anyone educated person today would say any 12 or 13 year old having a child is immoral divine or not. Where in the bible or any writings does it say Mary and Joseph went to an Inn but the Inn was full and mary had jesus in a stable. Every christmas eve thousands of catholics march their children off to church and teach them this fairy tale.
Jesus is always depicted on the cross as an a western culture person. Tall man maybe 6 foot 2 or so, Long brown hair with blond highlights parted in the middle looking like a california surfer. Why do catholics not want to believe that their jesus looked like any jewish or middle eastern man from the time. He would have probably had short dark hair, dark eyes dark complextion about 5 feet 5 or so with a big nose and big lips……..why? because thats not the image catholics want to believe.
For a man that has caputured the hearts of billions for centuries and we don’t have any world documentation what so ever that he even existed. Don’t know a credible date when he was born, know date when he died. But people keep on believing. Why? Because its a familty tradition that has carried on for centuries. I asked my mother 88 recently why she was such a devout catholic. She thought for a minute and said because her mother and father told her and her grandparents told her parents and so on and so on. Not based on any factual information just a tradition. Like santa clause…….
Richard,
Thanks for the post.
You seem to have the same attitude that some of Jesus’s own apostles and the Jews of his time had. They expected him to be something other than what he was. They expected Jesus to be a great military leader who would conquer the Romans and be the Messiah that they had defined. This was not his plan. Instead he came to die for our sins on a cross as a criminal.
Just because he was not considered a great individual during his lifetime does not mean that he did not exist and was not what he claimed.
We have far less information about the likes of Alexander the Great than we do of Jesus Christ. There was far more written in the first decades afters his death than four gospels. There were many epistles and extra biblical books written regarding him and/or his Church. They may not be history as we practice it today but they were historical.
To say that nothing was written about Jesus is not exactly true either. There are legitimate portions of Josephus that are about Jesus and many more from others regarding his followers.
Just because there are similarities with other religions does not really mean what you say it does. Could it be that these religions had a portion of the truth that was revealed and understood more clearly later on or that the similarities are coincedence. What about the differences?
Just because at one time individuals married at a younger age does not indict a religion. Plural marriages were once accepted but now are not. Could this be more of a cultural issue?
How an indivdual culter chooses to represent Jesus in picture form is irrelevant to whether he exists. If you look at how he is represented in other cultures, you would see him as african, asian or indian. Jesus came to save mankind and is often represented according to the culture. Again this does not prove or disprove Catholcism or Christianity.
Please remember this there were followers of Jesus Christ who died for their belief in him in the first century such as Peter whose burial site is under the Vatican. I don’t know about you but I would have a very difficult time dying for a myth.
I once thought somewhat along the lines that you do. I was raised Catholic and fell away for many years because I thought religion was pointless. I never really stopped believing in God but I had doubts about religion in general and Christianity in particular….. Miracles do happen!
God Bless
Chris
During the past 30 years secularism has embraced most western democracies. Once very catholic countries like Holland, Germany, France even England and Canada have and are moving quickly away from christian faiths. The only real growths now are in continents like africa and countries in south america. Within a generation the catholic church will have to align their structure as to these new believers. Secularism is growing rapidly in the USA as well.
It won’t be long before western culture type images of the catholic church change. In a few years I believe the sacred heart of jesus picture (which jesus look like a california surfer with the middle parted long brown hair with blond highlights) the images of him and mary will take on the image of darker smaller people with big lips and big noses similar to african natives who will soon be the pitch people for the catholic church. I could never understand why its so important for catholics to have jesus look like an american from malibu beach and mary with her long blond hair and white features, when in reality (if there was a mary/jesus) why they are not depicted in what their culture of the times would have them look like. Small jewish people with dark hair, dark skin, big nose big lips. (But western culture country catholics don’t want them to look like that, we want them to look like us) (LOL) Other western culture traditions will also change such as the ideoligy pictures/statues of the saints, they will reflect the images of people from this far away continent.
Big changes coming in the catholic church whether you want it or not. The church will respond and go where the action is. The future of the church is not in the USA or any other current western culture countries. Its Africa and South America. You will either adapt or fall by the wayside. Thats reality!
Richard,
I find it very interesting that you do not believe in God but you seem to be very interested on the state of affairs with the Catholic Church.
Many Catholics such as myself would rather have a Church that is faithful to the time tested teachings of the Church than a Church that has fallen away from it teachings. Whether it is dominated by Africa or South America does not really matter as long as the Church remains faithful to its teaching.
The image portrayal of Jesus or Mary is not the primary point of our religion. Jesus came for all mankind as our savior. How we portray Him is not really all that relevant.
God Bless
Christopher
I have been a Catholic for 22 years, but I’ve just about had it. The reasons for my leaving are the same ones that almost kept me from joining. I simply cannot yield authority over my relationship with Christ to the hierarchy of the Church. The clergy should be the leaders in presenting the teachings of Christ, and helping all in their individual journey. Instead they are dogmatic to a T. They are bigoted, flawed, and in no way give me any reason to believe in the myth of apostilicity. I am thorougly convinced that the Catholic church has become the new “Moral Majority”. This church will not stop until they can essentially turn this nation into something akin to a Catholic monarchy. Telling me how to vote, and support for Prop. 8 are really the last straws. The church tried to re-invent themselves after Vatican II, and for awhile they had many fooled. But looking at all of Catholic history has convinced me that what is happening now with the strong-armed harangues of the hierarchy are merely a throwback to medieval times. I’ve been to mass only twice since the election, and both times I felt nothing. My friends, who are much more liberal than I, blythely go off to church with comments like “Who cares what the bishops say”, we are the Catholics, but of course they are not. Their day of reckoning is coming, as the nearly sainted Pope John-Paul II succeeded in stacking the deck with conservative bishops, and his teachings are revered by the new young priests just slightly less than Jesus himself. I’ve seen the future of the Church, even if my myopic friends cannot, and it does not include me in it. Goodbye.
Gary,
I am sad you think this of the Church. The Church is not strong arming anyone they are merely stating the teaching of the Church as they have always been. You seem to not agree with these teachings but many do. Have you even looked at the history of the early Church in writings such as the didache, Clement of Rome, Ignatius of Antioch and others. These teachings have always been there. Protecting marriage and the unborn have always been the teaching of the Church. They are the teachings of Christ. Please reconsider and I would strongly suggest speaking with a priest and not allow your pride to blind you.
In many ways modern society is the one that is attacking us in so many ways. Pushing morals that contradict the Bible and the Church. Sex, violence, murder, abortion have been pushed on our society and we have become desensitised to these evils. We should all feel lucky that the Church is there to give us a moral compass in these times. What you view as authoritarian I and many others view as the bishops and the Pope doing their job which is shepherding the flock.
Dear CD, I am sad at the prosepect of leaving the church, and appreicate your concern. I was angry when I wrote this letter, as I have been for some time. I would like to find a way not to leave the church, as it has in the past blessed me during many different times in my life since joining.
I have read some of the early church teachings, and I agree that it is consistent with church teaching to emphasize the importance of life issues. I have spoken to a priest about my feelings about two weeks ago. This priest was a young conservative priest who could tell that I was troubled about certain issues, but felt that I had seriously thought them through before I voted. I voted for Obama, not because of his views on abortion but in spite of them. He did not agree with me but said he thought I had considered carefully the situation before I voted and encouraged me to stay in the church. I do beg to differ with you however on the extent of the role that some priests and bishops took in this last election. There is a great deal of difference between emphasizing the importantance of all the “life issues” when deciding who to vote for, and saying point blank that voting for so-and-so puts you in a state of mortal sin, or worst yet “Think of judgement day when you go into the voting booth”. If you want names and more quotes I can provide them for you. I do respect the teachings of the church, and have been pro-life since I joined the church, but disagree with the theory that voting for person A, who might hold a personal opinion that runs contrary to church teaching on one or more of the 5 “non-negotiable issues” will necessarily translate into a negative act. As I stated in another letter on another blog once, the party that produced candidates who claimed to be pro-life have been in power all but 12 of the last 35 years, and yet abortion still stands. My “beef” with the church really comes down to a lack of respect for authority, when I believe contrary, to what you believe, that it has been abused. The Pope himself did not go as far as these bishops did in their virtual condemnation of voting for pro-choice candidates,
I am deeply concerned about this situation from a spiritual standpoint, and have been very nervous and grieved this entire fall over this issue. What is more I am not an isolated case. There are many of us who support church teachings, but felt very “bullied” by certain priests and bishops who we feel have overstepped their bounds. I am not trying to win a debate here, although I am quite a bit more informed on church teaching than you might think. My concern is that I am afraid we are, as a church on a slippery slope into schism, or some sort of spiritual divide that essentially breaks our unity. I respect your opinion very much even if i don’t totally see things the way you do. Many of us do. But we feel disenfranchised and hurt that we, who have heretofore have been loyal in our minds to the church have been essentially considered by, if even a minority of clergy, to be less than Catholic at best, or totally anathema at worst. I do, as I said before appreciate your concern, and I am sure that we would be more in agreement on virtually all issues, than not. Furthermore, I resolve not to leave the church at this time, as I feel that I have a purpose to be in it. I am very serious, when I say to you how grieved I am over the present situation in the church, and I implore you and all who might disagree with those who hold a different opinion on this to try to come to some concensus on these important issues, some meeting place without compromising church teaching. As I said before I have friends who are far more liberal than I, who don’t care what the bishops say or think. They hold obedience to be unimportant. My problem is that I do care what the bishops believe and say and would like to comply, but feel abandoned. I just seek peace. I want to go to church with nothing but love of Christ in my heart, and love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I would welcome a follow-up response from you. Pax Vobiscum.
I imagine most people leave the Church because they are still attracted to worldly things.
One has to be filled with the Spirit!
http://youhearitssound.blogspot.com/
I am 29 years old and an active Catholic. I try very hard to continue my faith in our Chuch. But lately, I have been struggling. I understand and appreciate our rules with marriage and divorce. As an immature 20 year-old, I married. I knew it was wrong. However, my parents had sunk their last cent into this wedding; I was terrified and ashamed to back out. I feel that I sealed my fate that day. We separated 7 months later, divorced 18 months later. I’ve since remarried a fellow Catholic, in a civil ceremony. We have two children. We are involved in several ministries, which we love. But, we cannot receive the Body of Christ. I am saddened and ashamed every Sunday. My first attempt at an anullment was a bust. It seems now, that I may have a case… if I pay $500. Can’t I be a faithful Catholic, who made a mistake? Can’t I repent? Will I forever wait in the choir loft, as my fellow choir members file in for Communion?
Another thing… a few times a year, we visit friends from out of state. They are Christian, but non-demoninatinal. As guests in their home, we always oblige and go with them to thier church. Besides, the nearest Catholic church is in a neighboring town. This little Christian church is filled with people eager and happy to be there. They sing!! I try taking the good parts of their church and bring them to ours. I’m driven to bring life into our congregation. I don’t know…
I could use some advice. Thank you.
Dear Nicki,
I felt some pain reading your comments…..sadly you will need to get an annulment before you can get married in the Catholic Church.
I wondered why you felt the need to “marry” your present partner, knowing that your marriage wouldn’t be recognised by the Church.
I imagine, also, there is the added guilt, that you are living in sin (adultery) as far as the Church is concerned.
I suggest you live apart from your husband or refrain from any “physical” contact until you get married in the Catholic Church…on the condition you get your annulment.
Remember, Nicki, Jesus Christ, comes before everything.
I am a catholic and proud of it. I have a sister-in-law who’s boyfriend, a born again christian, convinced her to leave her catholic faith. She was a very gullible person and also really didn’t understand the catholic church. When we asked to baptize our son, in preparing to do so, she discovered that she herself had never been baptized. When she found out the process for getting baptized herself, she started questioning the church’s requirements of her going through such a process. When she talked to her boyfriend about it, he mislead her into believing that she didn’t have to do it and talked her into leaving the church. Now she walks around like she is this holy pre-madana. I really disappointed me, and I even took it personal. By refusing God’s sacraments she is turning refusing Him. She and her boyfriend are trying to instill their new ways into her two daughters. What can I tell her to convince her to return to the catholic church? She was married through the church and even baptized her two daughters.
Nothing, just pray for her, the rest is up to God.
There is a God. I promise you this with all my heart.
Think about this:
1. if there was no God then how could the universe(containing such complex creatures as Humans) have been created? There had to have been a “1st mover” or someone or something that made “everything” become “something”.
2. Jesus is never mentioned in history because people don’t believe and don’t want others to. They want to block him out.
3. Believing is not seeing. Even though you can’t see God you must realize (if you spend enough time thinking about it) that someone has to keep things growing, us moving, the sun shining. If you give it enough thought you would be able to see this.
I suggest, before you make any permanent decisions about your beliefs in God, that you talk to a priest that is part of a religious grouped called the Legionaries of Christ. They are a great community and have always been there for me and my family and friends. I think they could help you as they have always helped me and everyone I know for my whole life.
You are in my prayers, God Bless